Valentine's Day distilled...funnies on love

It's Valentine' Day today...and New Year's Day too in the Chinese calendar. That puts some Oriental folks in a bit of a quandary...what gives?...attending to the New Year well-wishing rituals centering around their close families and joyfully dispensing & receiving red laisee packets...or being attentive to their lovers' needs. It was Mao who stated "Women hold up half the sky..." in recognition of their pivotal importance in society, albeit spelling out the blindingly obvious, but an anachronism that blights modern China today.

Since the dawn of the human race, understanding your partner or new-found-love has been the ultimate voyage to self-discovery. Moving right along, we will enter the risky theme of the differences between Mars and Venus. Political correctness and economic reality will therefore be temporarily suspended...

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Love makes the world go round, sends women dizzy and puts men in a spin. That's what I call manna from the orbital heavens!